I sit here ready to write again for the first time in 74 days and wonder what happened to the time. Where did it go? I judge that we all ask ourselves these types of questions, like where did the summer go, what happened to the 3rd quarter of the year, how did I get so old? Sure I have my answers to these questions, but I’m always struck by how I’m not alone in this quandary and what to do about it. Apparently I am not the only one that finds it very easy to lose sight of the passage of time if I’m not conscious of it. Days turn into weeks, which turn into months, that turn into quarters and on and on it goes. There is not a day that goes by where I’m not wrestling with time in some way. I now understand and appreciate why everyone talks about time speeding up as you get older.
I just returned from a weekend at a place that I had not been to in almost six years. The theme going into the weekend was “we’re out of time” and the experience was exhilarating and enlightening. It was great to be back to a place that was familiar, both in terms of the place and the people I saw there. It was like slipping into an old shirt that I had lost and then found in the very back of drawer. Being seen there, welcomed back and remembered was an added benefit to my return. Recognizing and acknowledging both how much I had changed and evolved in some ways and remained the same in others was the enlightening piece for me.
It is often hard to measure one’s own personal progress across time. What is the right measurement to use, how often should you measure, what’s included or excluded from the measurement and who gets to decide? All of these questions make tracking progress difficult. It gets even more challenging when you take into consideration the scientific fact that all matter is the same, light matter. The ways our brains interpret that matter become our thoughts. Our beliefs about those thoughts create our reality. Ultimately this makes each of us very powerful when it comes to measuring our own progress across time because we can create whatever reality we want with our thoughts and beliefs.
My thoughts are often that I have not done enough and 74 days feels to me like it is too long between blog posts. What have I done during that time? I would usually say not enough, others might see it differently. It is the outside perspective that really helps here because most times I judge that we are our own worst enemies when it comes to measuring our own progress objectively. The good news is that we are social beings and ultimately we cannot exist without each other according to many studies, including Frederick II and Rene Spitz. The result is that our reality is ultimately a shared reality that is co-created. Without other people’s perspectives I can never know the collective truth and understand their thoughts and beliefs about the shared experience we have together.
Some heady stuff for sure, but I would argue also extremely important when it comes to sales, decisions, individual effectiveness or anything in life for that matter. If I don’t seek out others to understand their experience, then who am I to decide by myself whether 74 days between blog posts is too long for instance. It is in reaching out to others that things get interesting because I have to take the time to do it, respect their experience of the question even if it is dramatically different, actively listen to their perspective and ultimately decide who I am in relation to the other person and their perceived reality of the question.
The decision in the end is mine and honestly I’m fine with the time I took between posts and all the things I’ve accomplished during the time. However, I’m also glad I checked with others to get their perspective in order to calibrate my own thoughts on it. Too often companies or individuals don’t take the time to get outside help and they ultimately pay for it in the end because they drink their own cool-aide for too long. The result is they either fail to notice what is happening around them or they jump to the wrong conclusion.
So my advice to people and companies is this, take the time to reach outside of yourself to find out whether your reality is a shared one. Choose who you do this with wisely and then decide consciously what is right for you rather than not doing it at all and remaining isolated. The risk is if you don’t, you may draw the wrong conclusion and you definitely miss out on the learning that comes from seeking an outside and objective perspective. The time is now and it is definitely not slowing down so chose how you use it and who you share it with wisely.